Chapter 1 CLOSED

I never regretted meeting you.
Even the fact that everything was flamingly magical at first and suddenly burns out in the end, caused me pain, I still never found myself regretting that I once met you.
This is the very first time I'll be honest with myself..
It hurts not because everything went to nothing. That it ended so soon or because it was that easy for you to forget about everything. It hurts because I never had the courage to say how I felt before. It hurts because I never had the chance to thank you. It hurts because I did nothing. I regretted the times God gave me chances but chose to disregard it. I regretted that I did nothing. I regretted that I had hurt you. I regretted everything "before". Yes, there's so much to regret but if ever I have the power to change anything or do what I have failed to do, I WOULDN'T. If I have never done my mistakes before, I wouldn't realize the things that are beyond my understanding, the things that I need to learn. Days after it ended up I was still wishing you to come back. But as time goes by, I realize there's something more I want than that. I moved on but I never got over you because I never had the chance to tell you everything that I wished I have told you before. Months past, I was learning the process of completely moving on with my life, though I'm trying to get over you, it seems that nothing works for me because of these words left unspoken. If only I have a chance to bring back time or just a chance to tell you everything, I would grab it firmly as I could. Andd after that, I'd fly away not expecting anything or any response. All I want is just to tell you everything I have to tell you, nothing more. Now, I keep on thinking the "what ifs". What if I had told you I don't want you to go, that I want you here. What if I didn't say those lies to keep everything hidden.
What if I've told you that night that I want you too, that I'm beginning to fall deeply? What if I have believed you instead of my doubts and pride? What if I didn't cause you pain? What if I showed you I truly care? I keep on thinking.. Maybe we'll be together 'til now or maybe not?
I wouldn't care what would have happen as long as I have told you everything.
But now, I'm happy to finally express everything honestly. I don't want you back, I don't need any response. All I need is to tell you I'm sorry. That I once cared and fell for you. And lastly, thank you. Thank you for everything you did for me. For caring, for making me feel so much special. But more than that I want to thank you for teaching me something worth learning. I've seen you happy and there's no reason for me not to be happy too. All I need is a decent closure. All I need is to close this chapter so that I can open another w/o hesitation and regrets. And there's no other time for me to be ready if I wouldn't completely close the past. The next time someone comes I would do everything, I would say everything, everything I can, so at the end there will be no regrets whether what happens.
And now, I'm ready to completely move on, let go, and get over. This is my final Goodbye to you. I hope we can talk again in the future and be friends. :)
THANKYOU FOR EVERYTHING John :)